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Movie Review: “The Boy Next Door” is a Foolishly Redundant Tale

Men beware; just a taste of JLo can lead to an unhealthy addiction!

Claire Peterson (Jennifer Lopez) is a high school teacher in the middle of a separation from her cheating husband (John Corbett).  Amidst the stress and drama, she has only been able to focus on her work and her son, Kevin (Ian Nelson).  She hasn’t been on a date in years.  Somehow, this always made-up beauty hasn’t even felt wanted by a man since the split.  She is lonely and vulnerable.  (Yeah, right…)  Here comes the new hot, young, and extremely fit neighbor.  Noah Sandborn (Ryan Guzman) seems harmless.  He’s a sweet kid taking care of his elderly uncle, and now he’s even befriended Claire’s awkward, wheezing son.  After going on a horrible double date with her friend/vice principal of her school, Vicky (Kristin Chenoweth), she receives a phone call from Noah who is need of her assistance.  The evening escalates from inappropriate to disgustingly wrong within seconds.  Claire wakes up immediately regretting the whole thing, but it’s too late.  A night of “passion” with “Jenny from the block” has caused Noah to catch a fever that he just can’t shake.

The Boy Next Door is a story we’ve seen before, multiple times.  In fact, you could probably figure out the entire film, without ever watching it.  Writer Barbara Curry offers no originality to this script, unless you count the record breaking amount of cheese in the dialogue.  Director Rob Cohen (Fast and Furious, The Skulls) does serve a few moments of excitement movie-goers can look forward to, particularly the end sequence.

January is known to be the worst month for films, and The Boy Next Door is no exception to that rule.  However, it is a film that audience members could possibly, still, enjoy.  I went in with the mindset of knowing this movie would be ridiculous and just had fun with it.  The acting is embarrassing, and the storyline doesn’t always make sense. Yet, there is plenty to laugh about.  Take for example, how Jennifer Lopez never looks bad.  It doesn’t matter if she’s fighting for her life in a burning barn, or if she’s about to go to bed; her lip gloss is always intact.

Sadly, The Boy Next Door does not provide the same entertainment value as other popular teen /stalker flicks like Fear or SwimFan.  But, if you’ve already seen all of the Oscar nominated films, and you’re looking for a thoughtless, outlandish comedy, The Boy Next Door maybe worth the watch!

Rating: 2/5

The Boy Next Door opens in theaters today.

Single During the Holidays? Here are the Top 5 Films to get you through the Season

It’s cuddle season!  And that means everywhere you look couples are constantly holding each other.  Whether it’s at a family gathering or Christmas shopping at the mall; they are everywhere.

The holidays can be rough on anyone for many reasons.  But, being single during a time that is better spent with a significant other can be a bummer.  Luckily, my go to medicine (Movies) will always put situations like these into a much better perspective.

These 5 films will help singles get through the holiday season; each for completely different reasons.

5. Shopgirl

So, I can hurt now, or hurt later

For the Moving On:  Shopgirl shows how heart breaking a strictly sexual relationship can be when one person starts to want more.  No, it isn’t like Friends with Benefits.  This film is dark, deep, and emotional; and has some comic relief thanks to Jason Schwartzman.  After situations like these, one can feel hopeless to find someone that they “think” they can feel that strongly for again.  Shopgirl will show you just how possible it is to move on.  And how whatever you thought you felt for the wrong one, is nothing in comparison to the feelings you will feel for the right one.

4. Loser

You think you could turn it down just a skosh?

For the Nice Guys: This film gives hope for both, the good guys and girls.  Paul Tannek (Jason Biggs) is one of the sweetest and most genuine characters I have ever seen in a film.  Selfless, non-confrontational, and the perfect example of how the nice ones may not get a “happy ending” as quick as others.  But eventually someone will see the good in you, and appreciate it when you least expect it.

3. Swimfan

Don’t tell her you love her!

For the Psycho: Hopefully none of us have acted quite as insane a Madison Bell (Erika Christensen) did over someone that wasn’t interested in her.   I know this is an odd choice, but if you are the type that is desperate to like anyone (like the first person that’s nice to you).  Then maybe this film will make you rethink that non-existent relationship you are about to form in your head.  Or maybe one of your last relationships was with that “stage 5 clinger” that texts you and ends up having a texting convo with themselves…Either way, Swimfan will make you feel relieved to not be dealing with any form of a psychotic relationship.  (For a little gender reversal of this story-line, I also recommend FEAR.  And for the original try Fatal Attraction)

2. 500 Days of Summer

The feeling I never felt with you

For the Realist: Anyone who dated someone that used the “I’m just not looking for a relationship right now” line must know by now that it was complete bullsh**.  You know; you have probably used that line too.  “I’m not looking for a relationship” means I’m not looking for a relationship with YOU.  This film just proves the theory that when you meet the right person, you both just know.  If something is holding you guys back from committing as a couple, you are probably not meant to be.  500 Days of Summer portrays a realistic story about dating and breaking up.  After watching this film, you might be less controlling of your feelings, or stop expecting certain qualities in a partner.  When it happens, it just happens naturally.

1. About Time

All the time traveling in the world can’t make someone love you

For the Regrets:  At first sight, this film seems like it is going to be a mushy love story that will want to make you gag.  But it is not!  It is SO much more than that.  This movie is about appreciating the love in our lives; from our family, our friends, even our random acquaintances.  Now don’t get me wrong, there is an incredibly charming relationship in the film.  But this relationship didn’t come about until after multiple tries by a man who can travel back in time (still a great movie, I swear).  The important lesson learned is not to wish for second chances, but to treat each moment like it’s your last.  Take the chance by letting someone know how you feel before it’s too late.  And if they aren’t interested, at least you tried and you won’t have any regrets!